In my last blog i told you about how my marriage got formalized? Now,we went to madhubani which is a district in Bihar state and so it is a town with all the infrastructure like good roads,court,post office,banks,big market,cinema hall,public schools,electricity etc.
So,I was happy that my in-laws place is in town and i will have no difficulty in staying there.But when we along with barati's(Guests & Relatives) reached there we were told to stay in old high school building.I went to my native place for my marriage after 8 years.In our culture marriage is usually performed in late evening and it goes on till early morning.The arrangement of Dinner for guest were made in high school since it was in main town with toilet facility.When the muhurat ( auspicious time ) of my marriage ceremony came close then my father and myself along with few other relatives started for brides home.My in-law's house was approximately 1.5km from main town and it was dark all around since there was no electricity and there were big trees all around.I asked my father, where have you fixed my marriage? It is a jungle with no electricity,How will i live here? My father replied that i thought that there house is in madhubani town and i was myself not aware about there house location.
Now,nothing can be done.We reached my in -law's place.There house was around 100 meter inside from main road.The house was connected with a narrow mud road (pagdandi) from the main road.It was surrounded by big trees from all sides and it is like a Sage( Rishi ) Ashram.
There was tube light's lit all over the place through Generator.I finally had a sigh of relief.
Now there is a ritual in our maithil tradition that Groom has to wear Dhoti & Kurta ( A traditional Dress) at the time of marriage and i had never wore dhoti in my life and i went wearing Kurta/pajama instead. Now my elder brother-in-law from my in-law's side insisted on my wearing the traditional dress of dhoti/kurta but i refused there request and told them that if they will insist then i will not marry.Then they agreed to my condition when they learnt that i had lived all my life in Delhi and is like a stranger to these traditions.Just imagine marrying to a girl you have never met or seen before. But in our culture most of the marriages are performed like this by just seeing the girl photo or seeing her from some distance in a private place or temple.
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So,I was happy that my in-laws place is in town and i will have no difficulty in staying there.But when we along with barati's(Guests & Relatives) reached there we were told to stay in old high school building.I went to my native place for my marriage after 8 years.In our culture marriage is usually performed in late evening and it goes on till early morning.The arrangement of Dinner for guest were made in high school since it was in main town with toilet facility.When the muhurat ( auspicious time ) of my marriage ceremony came close then my father and myself along with few other relatives started for brides home.My in-law's house was approximately 1.5km from main town and it was dark all around since there was no electricity and there were big trees all around.I asked my father, where have you fixed my marriage? It is a jungle with no electricity,How will i live here? My father replied that i thought that there house is in madhubani town and i was myself not aware about there house location.
Now,nothing can be done.We reached my in -law's place.There house was around 100 meter inside from main road.The house was connected with a narrow mud road (pagdandi) from the main road.It was surrounded by big trees from all sides and it is like a Sage( Rishi ) Ashram.
There was tube light's lit all over the place through Generator.I finally had a sigh of relief.
Now there is a ritual in our maithil tradition that Groom has to wear Dhoti & Kurta ( A traditional Dress) at the time of marriage and i had never wore dhoti in my life and i went wearing Kurta/pajama instead. Now my elder brother-in-law from my in-law's side insisted on my wearing the traditional dress of dhoti/kurta but i refused there request and told them that if they will insist then i will not marry.Then they agreed to my condition when they learnt that i had lived all my life in Delhi and is like a stranger to these traditions.Just imagine marrying to a girl you have never met or seen before. But in our culture most of the marriages are performed like this by just seeing the girl photo or seeing her from some distance in a private place or temple.
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Very nice post about your marriage ceremony. But sir, you had to write the year of your marriage. Now that area has almost everything a developed city has. You should wear dhoti kurta while sitting inside mandap. This is a custom. These days grooms marry in suits. They do not follow their rituals. But I have followed. It is true that I did not know how to wear dhoti. But with the help of one of my relatives I wore dhoti. Nice post!
ReplyDeleteThanks Pankaj ji for your feedback.I think one should only wear a dress in which he feels most comfortable,specially on the most important day of your life,after all marriage is between two individuals not between clothes.
DeleteI am married to a boy from Bihar. After our marriage in Guwahati I went to visit his village in samistipur and the description of your in-laws village sounds very familiar. By the way I have also done post-graduation from Delhi University.Nice post, good read.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nima for your feedback.Please read my blogs from beginning and give your valuable feedback.
DeleteHa ha Anoop Jee, I can truly understand your situation, but anyways the best thing is that those rituals seems a bit hard and outdated, but actually "Asli Maja to Sab ke Sath hi Ata hai".
ReplyDeleteGood to hear your experiences Anoop Jee.
Dear Alok,
DeleteYou had a good laugh on my plight.Imagine marrying in a place which is sort of jungle and listening folk songs which i never understood and all the women of the village staring at you like you are from some other planet.
I can understand your condition Anoop jee, as I am aware of such situations :)
Delete